Shame of Clones: A Paranormal Romantic Comedy (Karma Inc. Files Book 3) by Melanie James

Author:Melanie James [James, Melanie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Black Paw Publishing
Published: 2017-07-11T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Nineteen

Land of the Lost

The next few days went by quietly. I was too busy with my students to worry about the wedding. To get through the week without having a stroke, I seized on a philosophy often used by the hopelessly condemned and by kindergarteners, the good, old reliable ignis fatuus of make-believe. I simply refused to even believe the wedding was going to happen, much less that I’d be introducing an unpredictable clone of my boyfriend to my entire, giant, nosy family.

Like a wrecking ball, reality eventually rips through the most carefully constructed walls of denial. In my case, the wrecking ball was about to come crashing in, and it was named Randy.

Arriving home from work Thursday afternoon, I was greeted by a champagne-colored dress tossed at me. “It was delivered today. I don’t know why anyone would want such a horrid color. Might as well be a paper grocery bag,” Ezzy deadpanned.

“If Gertie can’t make the alterations in time, it doesn’t matter. Besides, I’m thinking of telling everyone I’m sick… with the plague. By the way, what’s the status on our other problems?”

“I asked Marie for her opinion of Barney’s mysterious attacker. We agree, it must have been a protective spirit guarding the king’s statue. Nothing to worry about now. Barney’s been getting Gabe 2.0 up to date on his social skills by exposing him to nonstop television. Oh, and all magic will be going on total lockdown soon unless things get straightened out.”

“Great,” I growled. “What about the professor?”

Ezzy dismissed my concern with a wave of her hand. “All fixed. We called a taxi and sent him back to the college this morning.”

“You what?”

“Sent him home, of course. Wasn’t that the plan?”

“Yeah, but… was he okay? And did you ask him about the evil spirit, or Barney, or the money?”

“Nah.” Ezzy dismissed my worries again.

Barney hopped into the room. “Ezzy, baby, you promised,” he said, tossing a bottle of lotion in her direction.

“His skin does get very dry. It’s very uncomfortable, I’m sure,” she huffed, dropping eye contact. She sat down on the floor, allowing Barney to lay face down on her lap.

“Ah, that’s the spot,” Barney moaned while Ezzy rubbed the lotion into his slick green back. “You keep stroking me for another two minutes, baby, and I’ll want a cigarette.”

“Eww, freaks,” I complained. The ringing of my cell phone prevented a further sarcastic exchange with the perverted imp.

It was Randy, in distress. “Kelly! I need you to come get me—us.”

“Us? Who’s us? And where are you?”

“Gertie, Brad, and me. It’s complicated, but we’re stranded down in West Garfield Park. Gertie and I both tried our brooms, but they quit working after we crashed here.”

“Because you’re not supposed to be using them at all. Didn’t you know?”

“Yeah, but… anyway. Come get us. And please hurry.” Randy ended the call.

“Damn. I have to pick up Randy and his cohorts.”

“Let me guess, they tried to defy the no-fly order? They’re lucky they’re still on the same planet.”

“Almost as bad.

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